When it comes to sharp objects I really should learn my lesson.
This evening, while preparing some foods I am cutting into cubes some day-old ciabatta bread when the motion of my cutting causes the 9″ chefs knife to tumble to the ground. Luckily I have a high dodge-factor and I swiftly avoided a trip to the Emergency Room.
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Pushes A
With my saving reflex I turn around to resume cubing said bread when my spinning torso causes the bread knife with the bread still attached to it to come tumbling down towards my (aptly) bare feet. My ability to dodge once again saves me from severed-toe-syndrome.
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So I’m still cubing this *(&@ing bread and I slip and the knife goes down and I cut my finger. Nary a worry!! It is but merely a flesh wound! I’m not even bleeding - I look at my finger and there -to my best approximation- a nano-meter of skin missing.
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Hahahahahaha!!!! I am totally saying out loud: I’ve fooled you this time mistress of doom! You’ll not send ME to the emergency room this day!! when I dump out one of the pans in the sink. Contained in said pan is a measuring spoon. Which promptly falls INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!
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Are you out of your fucking mind??
HOLDS DOWN B
Which caused me to run to the circuit-box and turn off everything but the stove and the air-conditioner before I stuck my hand into the gaping maw of doom. I will now take a rest from kitchen duties and go to the store to pick up a few things (and by a few things I mean a nice First-Aid kit).
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