Frustrations. Irrationalities. Lameness. No, I’m not talking about W’s State of the Union address. I’m feeling rather blah lately. I don’t know why. Take today for example - I’d decided to walk to campus rather than ride my bike (partially for a change of pace, also because its more exercise than riding my bike) and took my camera along to take a few pictures along the way. I get home, download them onto my computer and I just don’t know what to think of them. Nothing ever seems to be in focus. Autofocus on a camera like this isn’t just a guess, its supposed to be dead-on focus. Even so, I was shooting with a small aperture which eliminates most depth of field focus issues, and should produce a fairly sharp image. And still, things just don’t seem quite right on it. I don’t know if its the lens, the camera, or a combination of the two. Not only are things seemingly never in focus, but my poor laptop is just too slow to process these images. I have 2Gb of RAM and the thing still crawls along.
I’ll be upgrading as soon as two things happen: 1) I find out if my portfolio is accepted and I continue with the Photography major, and; 2) OS X Leopard ships. When I find out if I do/do not get into the degree program I’ll decide if I want to get a MacPro with lots of horsepower, or maybe scale down for an iMac and maybe a used medium-format film camera system. Long term, medium format is what I want to be shooting, but Mamiyas and Hasselblads run in the multiple-thousand dollar ranges for brand new. But I still need a new computer either way - even with film capture and digital printing, the storage requirements that I will have will surpass my poor little laptop. As it is, I’ve had to move gigabytes of data onto a USB drive so that I can have room to work. If I max out my flash-memory card on my camera, I’ll need 2GB of hard drive to download them all. Yikes!
There’s other stuff going on in the background that I’m not going to bore you with the details on, but its all weighing down on me niggling me to death. It’s really tough for me to focus sometimes. When I want to be awake, I am sleepy. When I want to get to sleep, I become manic and think about everything that could possibly worry me - thus keeping me from falling asleep. I can count on my right hand the number of times I’ve fallen asleep before midnight in 2007.
I’ve taken a number of approaches to improving my health so far this year. I have made an effort to not eat-out as much. I originally said I would eat out ZERO times for January. Well that wasn’t realistic. So I have tried to keep it to one or two-times per week for dinner. Lunch is usually something on campus, thus far it hasn’t amounted to much as there really isn’t anything on campus that is healthy, quick and inexpensive.
Meh, sorry for the downer post. I’ve already started to bore myself with my whining, so if you’ve managed to read this far I award you a golden star!
Oh! Battlestar Galactica started up again on Sunday, which is kind of a bad sign. For SciFi to remove it from Friday is not the best way for the network to promote what is still one of the best (my opinion) shows on TV now. Season Three has certainly taken a new angle on the show, and its getting to be a bit more philosophical in its narrative. I like to fantasize about Apollo, Helo and Starbuck’s man-bitch in a hot intergalactic three-way. Hell, let Starbuck in and make it a fourgy - she’s got a bigger dick than anyone else on the show anyway.. hehe.
Ugh, I’ve said too much. 