The Queen James Bible

KangaBlabba Add comments

Wow! I found The Queen James Bible off of the Metafilter… lol

Excerpt (Leviticus):

1:1 Moses awoke with a start. He was inside the tabernacle for some reason. He put on his PVC dressing gown and opened the curtain door.
1:2 He wandered about like a man who’d had his eyes shot out. A man like Isaac. Then he opened them.
1:3 As he looked out upon the new dawn, something struck him as being very odd. The sunrise was green, for a start, and all across the sky, smeared out in what appeared to be lard was the word “LEVICITUS”
1:4 God quickly corrected his spelling and the sky read “LEVITICUS”– THE BOOK WHERE YOU ALL DIE! Only kidding! OR AM I!?”

The Queen James Mission Statement:

So, in short, our goal is to rewrite the entire Christian Bible. From Old Testament to New Testament, no word will be left unchanged. No moral will be left uncorrupted. No penis joke will be left unmade. It will be a tough, lengthy and probably fatal task, yet we shoulder the burden for the good of our fellow man.

YAY.. lolololol

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