Star F*ucker

Gay, gay, gay, KangaBlabba 2 Comments »

I just had the following conversation with Jimmy:

4:33:05 PM Jimmy: Pretty sure I just met ashlee fucking simpson 4:33:20 PM KangaMEANIE: better pop a valtrex just in case. 4:36:01 PM Jimmy: You bitch… I just told her that 4:36:07 PM KangaMEANIE: Good. 4:36:12 PM kangaMEANIE: Tell her I like her new nose

There are several things completely wrong with this conversation:

  1. Why would you want to meet Asslee Simpson
  2. Why would you want anyone to know you met Asslee Simpson
  3. WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER I TOLD YOU TO TAKE A VALTREX

Jimmy is missing the part of his brain that keeps him from saying stupid things. I could provide other examples but my fingers would get tired from typing them all out.  Blah.

Phoenix Metro Bloggin’

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

I was recently added to the list of authors for the Phoenix Metroblog! Its a collaborative blogging kinda thing where I get to post about stuff that goes on in and around Phoenix.. Hopefully they don’t kick me out :)

Check out the Phoenix Metroblog and some of their other Metroblogging cities too :)

The Funneh Clip on Net Neutrality

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

John Hodgman, better known as the PC in the recent Apple computer TV ads is also on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show quite a bit. Here is his take on Net Neutrality. [via TUAW]

World War III

KangaBlabba, KangaPolitik Add a comment »

Until an actual declaration of war from a recognized government appears this is going to be the ONLY thing I will post that illustrates my opinion on why our current presidents foreign policy is failing us miserably:

p1-210706_170715a.jpg

And we wonder why the rest of the world hates the United States of America. [via RedKing @ The Plastic Cat]

Ayyyyyyyyyy! The Manolo!!

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

OK so I love Manolo’s shoe blog.. Its funneh.  He has summed up my thoughts so precisely on this weeks Project Runway 2 Episode 2 that I encourage you, loyal reader(s), to read his words on this instead of my own.

Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Project Runway 3: Episode 2

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

Ok.. so even tho Malan had the grossest dress and has/had the creepiest laugh/leer/eyebrows on TV I thought Angela’s attitude was WAY out there and I was quite sad to see Malan be voted OUT.

Vincent or Angela are next I think.. I really hope Vincent isn’t the new Wendy/Santino cause that would be way gross.

/tear

Kanga’s Apartment Woes

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

This week has been a pressure building exercise in the Me vs. Apartment Complex woes.

I have a stack of notices from them alerting me to a wide variety of annoying things like: not being able to leave/enter my apartment for 4 hour windows, having my water shut off, having to relocate my vehicle because they’re paving the parking lot, forcing their way into my apartment to work on the deck, shutting off my water again, forcing their way back into my apartment to work on the deck, shutting the water off AGAIN, and most recently forcing their way back into my apartment again.

Last night and Today were my breaking points. You see, I don’t mind if they want to make improvements because they’re converting to condos. Whatever - go for it dude. But your workers must still respect the fact that I have a legal right to exist in my apartment until the end of September. Which means, even if you have the legal authority to enter my apartment, YOU NEED TO KNOCK ON THE DOOR FIRST.

Yesterday afternoon in the first of two days of “inspections” they painted some kind of sticky stuff to the deck and covered it with sand. Like the breezeway they will probably give it another coat today to make it look all pretty and shiny. However they tracked the sticky stuff into my apartment and got it all over my carpet. Mr. B likes to walk on the carpet. Paws make contact with sticky stuff, Mr. B takes a bath and licks his paws. Last night Mr. B started shaking and when I tried to pick him up to see what was wrong he made this AWFUL sound like my little Phoebe cat made when SHE was sick before I had to have her euthanized. panic mode: on

My freaking out probably didn’t help the cat any. I tore the place apart looking for the kitty crate and spent some time in the yellow-pages and on Google trying to find a 24 hour Emergency Vet to haul my cat too. (Did I mention that I’d already taken 2 two TylenolPM and was quite drowsy??) By the time I got all my ducks lined up and was about to shove the cat into the crate he wharfed up a huge hairball and a piece of plastic. I don’t know about ya’all but when I’m about to heave I shake and make funny noises too. So I relaxed a little bit and grabbed the cat and went to bed, waking up every so often to check on him. As of this morning he seems as sassy as normal so I think he’s OK.

But around 1130 or so someone tried to come into my apartment. No knocking or anything, just turn the handle and kick on the door. This did not amuse me. They did the same thing yesterday. So at this point I’d just about had it. They’re driving me crazy, poisoning my cat and now busting my door down. So I looked up the Arizona Revised Statute that they claim gives them the right to kick me out if I don’t let them in my apartment and had a wonderful giggle!

33-1376. Landlord and tenant remedies for abuse of access A. If the tenant refuses to allow lawful access, the landlord may obtain injunctive relief to compel access, or terminate the rental agreement. In either case, the landlord may recover actual damages. B. If the landlord makes an unlawful entry or a lawful entry in an unreasonable manner or makes repeated demands for entry otherwise lawful but which have the effect of unreasonably harassing the tenant, the tenant may obtain injunctive relief to prevent the recurrence of the conduct or terminate the rental agreement. In either case, the tenant may recover actual damages not less than an amount equal to one month’s rent.

In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, paragraph B gives me the right to seek damages not less than an amount equal to one month’s rent (cha-ching) if their actions can be construed as harasing - or I can get a restraining order to get them to stop. HA! I think my situation MORE than qualifies. Me: clicks print, puts on shirt, checks hair & marches down to the office. I had a nice little chat with Gina the manager and she was about as annoyed with everything as I was. I advised her that she needs to remind the workers that people still live here and that the workers need to do things like KNOCK before entering and they need to not leave sticky resin all over my carpet.

We shall see how things carry on from this point.

As an aside with the cat - last night FREAKED me out. I don’t like sick kitties and I am very worried for my Bigglesworth. I got a text message on my phone this morning from Will telling me that his kitty, Tucker, passed away last night. Tucker had been acting funny and throwing up so Will took him to the vet last week and found out that Tucker had Lymphoma (or some other kinda nasty cancer). Call me strange but I think Mr. Bigglesworth’s behaviour may have been linked to Tucker. Mr. Bigglesworth has previously had sympathy pains with me, so I wonder if perhaps his episode last night wasn’t really because my apartment complex is trying to kill him, but because he was somehow psychically connected to Tucker??

No way we will ever know for certain, but I’m very sad for Will right now - I’ve lost furry children before and know how hard it is. :’(

Multitasking

Eats, KangaBlabba Add a comment »

You know, one of the nice things about computers is that we can multitask.

This evening I was doing some multitasking and now my keyboard is covered with oil.

NO NOT THAT KIND OF OIL FOR THAT KIND OF MULTITASKING.

Perverts.

Basic Curried Rice:

1 yellow onion, small, diced 2-3 cloves garlic, crushed & chopped 1 cup of frozen peas Olive Oil Tumeric Cumin Cayenne Freshly cooked Jasmine Rice 1 can-o-veggie stock Kosher salt Cook the onion, garlic and peas in the olive oil with a dash of salt until the onion is translucent and the peas are mostly done. Add your tumeric, cumin and cayenne until well mixed. Toss in your rice and pour in about 3/4 of the can of stock to keep everything nice and moistalicious.

Scoop into a bowl, drizzle with some nice olive oil and sea salt. Enjoy.

He’s Back! (well, almost)

KangaBlabba Add a comment »

I just had a most wonderful phone call from my beloved Carlos!  He’s back from México and he rang to say hola on his layover (oddly enough at PHX Sky Harbor) before he flew off to Sacramento.

I can’t wait to see him when he gets back in August!  :)

Amsterdam Shenanigans and the Stiletto Martini

Gay, gay, gay, KangaBlabba, Shenanigins 3 Comments »

Last night Tippy, Emitt and I went to Amsterdam for $5 martini/manicure night. It was very un-busy but we still managed to have much more fun that should be allowed. I’ve decided that my new favorite drink in the world is going to be the Stiletto Martini.

Recipe:

1.5oz Makers Mark Bourbon (or other fine bourbon) 1.5oz Disaronno Amaretto .5 oz Rose’s Lime Juice

Shake & pour into chilled martini glass. Delicious.

Later on Standau and Lyn showed up and we continued our shenanigans out onto the dance floor. Lyn and Tippy danced with some cute lesbians, which is very appropriate since they’re both lesbians too. I tried to avoid dancing as much as possible as dancing and I generally don’t work well unless its a crowded dance floor and I am considerably more intoxicated. During one of the breaks I told Stan I’d buy his drink for him but he’d have to call me daddy for the rest of the night… …he kept his end of the bargain and I think he kinda liked it. o.0

That’s all that’s fit for the public interweb.

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