In times like this, where my stress is peaking, I often turn to humor.  Solve this anglo-saxon riddle, without the use of Google or any other such trickery and leave your answer in a comment!

I am a wondrous creature, a joy to women, useful to neighbors; not any citizens do I injure, except my slayer. Very high is my foundation. I stand in a bed, hair underneath somewhere. Sometimes ventures a fully beautiful churl’s daughter, licentious maid, that she grabs onto me, rushes me to the redness, ravages my head, fixes me in confinement. She soon feels my meeting, she who forced me in, the curly-haired woman. Wet is her eye.

Responces in comments!

Dear Big Brother,

Thank you for making me feel like I am a criminal because I have nasal congestion.  Today, at my friendly neighborhood CVS, I purchased 1.44g of pseudoephedrine, of which I am allowed to purchase only 3.60 grams a day pursuant to Federal law.